Happiness and Change, but no Satisfaction!

Definition of Happiness: good fortune; a state of well-being and contentment; a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Definition of change: to make or become different; modify; making an essential difference often amounting to a loss.

The thought of 'others are watching and judging' never leaves my mind and often blows my self-consciousness out of whack. I get to thinking just because my changes aren't as apparent as other people, that I am be judged for lack thereof!!! Controlling this thought is a key to getting self consciousness under control. I need to step back and see how realistic is this perception I have of others. Are they really staring and commenting. I often hear comments from other people about other people ie skinny people talking about others who have put on a few kilos, or carry more than they do and I wonder, what is it that you say about me???? In actual fact most women are self conscious and pre-occupied with appearance. So in saying that, it only makes sense that if so many women are so worried about how they look, then they are not really looking at me!

So on the flip side, how can your health improve if you keep putting yourself down? Take action and change what you can. Accept what you can't change, and focus on those you can! Funny how I really struggle over my whole over weight thing and become very self conscious around other people, but yet I have a lot of surface varicose veins on my legs that look like bruises and I never give them a thought until someone either pointedly looks at them or asks me how I got so many bruises!!! LOL then I become aware of them. So I need to learn to disconnect. I need to remind myself that I am me, and me will do what it needs to do in its own time.

So what do I need to do - communicate is one thing that comes to mind with other inspiring females. Women have a sincere interest in what is happening in the lives of other women. We share ideas and help each other to overcome challenges (emotional and physical). My biggest role models are women I interact with everyday, my friends and I aspire to succeed as well as they have. I have learnt to value myself as much as I value other women around me. I think with this in mind and the slow steady process I am currently on, I will see improvements. Little changes are still happening and have dropped some more weight. Now I am still thinking is the weight I am dropping bodyfat or is it lean tissue, but as a friend did say, I have a lot of lean tissue and can afford to drop some. But I worked hard for that lean tissue!!! Just think of the DOMS I endured creating that lean tissue!!! Man!!!!!

But I am going to have to rethink my favourite work pants, they are getting a little too long in the crotch now, and I guess they may look unflattering - don't own a full length mirror (another small self conscious issue of mine - that whole thing if I see myself whole, what horrible picture is looking back at me! Again the self loathing thing!!) so I really can not tell how bad they look, all I know they are a bit loose. (okay a lot). Continuing on, I am going to repeat this mantra daily - Don't force the numbers. They will come. Here is your job today. Adhere to a winning pattern of action that you know will produce results if you follow it consistently. Thanks Sue.

One day to go till competition Carolyn........................OMG! Hope you're ready for some loud support!

best be off - on my way to Body Balance - to take in some stretching.

Ciao!

X:D)